Agent York | Taylor Murray (
goddamngrenades) wrote2013-12-02 03:34 am
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Day 194
The cooking and cleaning on top of Drew already doing that though? Really fucking weird. He's not sure how to handle that. So he may or may not have taken up knitting a little more often, click click clicking his way through a new skein of yarn every few days, at least till Mal sits and snuggles and it's just- that's fine. it settles him.
Kids, though? Have his needles clicking again. ]
Um- kids? I- well I did a little back home in that 'now is not the time' cuz. Space marines. And having my own family...yeah. I wanted that.
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[ The knitting slows to a less manic clicking. ]
I dunno, mal.
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Would you want to be married to someone first before kids? Or something like co-parenting? Or single fatherhood?
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[ He combs his fingers through Malcolm's hair, smile small but present. ]
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In fact, would you ever consider children with me? I've always wanted to start a family, but it's been the same sort of deal with me. When you're a space marine or space naval officer, you don't really have the time for it.
I'm not asking to make some sort of big decision right now, but it's something nice to consider, isn't it?
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[ Not that he doesn't have this low warm clench in his gut at the thought. A ring on his finger, Mal at his side wed legally, a kid to raise. ]
I um. I would, you know. If things were different down the line.
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[ He's told Mal he loves him. He's said it more than once and Mal's always- smiled a little or flinched like he'd hit him or stared at him like he was lost but this?
He didn'tk now this. This isn't- this can't be Mal as he is normally. Mal's never said it to him. Never mind gladly. For a moement his chest feels warm and his throat gets tight and everything is- perfect. They are in love. They are happy- but this isn't.
It's too good to be true. ]
Say that bit again. The. We love each other. I know- I've told you I love you but you've never...
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[ There's a watch he keeps on his wrist for when things like this happens. He clicks the timer and slowly scoots back until he's pressed against the arm of the sofa, swallowing thickly, eyes dropping back down to his knitting. ]
We could fit. Maybe. I love you. I don't know- I don't know that you're saying that because you mean it or if it's the same thing that's getting everything everyone else all wound up and Compliance on top.
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[ Clack- clack click clack click, the knitting needles start to blur under the yarn as intricate fractal knots start spinning out below them. Back and forth, logical and precise- so much simpler than fucking people or fuckingcompliance. ]
Mal- just. Sit and wait it out till you're you again, okay? Okay.
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[ Perfect is what fucked everything up for him before. He wants better, sure, but perfect? Fuck perfect. Perfect drove Carolina to distraction, Perfect tore a sane AI into shattered, insecure, frustrated fragments, Perfect wound a man up so tight he couldn't see what he was doint to his own family- Perfect had them killing each other in the middle of a war when they couldn't afford to lose anyone.
To hell with Perfect. ]
Just. Pop on some James Bond, yeah? Casino Royale. That's a good one, you like that one.
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[ Now is not the time to bail. Even if he really, REALLY wants to bail. Like. Jesus this is uncomfortable. True love is- he doesn't wanna say bullshit but only a lot of practice keeps his face blank. ]
Mal a few weeks ago you scoffed at this movie and called it 'sentimental tripe'. Just. Saying. But yes so beautiful. Much love. Very true. Wow.
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