goddamngrenades | RP Open Post

"It kills someone to be that on all the time. Focus like that comes from trauma. From grief. From obsession." The Director had been obsessed and, well. That's how the project happened. He hooks his other arm around Wash's waist just to lean. To feel the solid warmth of him. "You're not a replacement and I'm not settling. I shot ou because I was pissed. I made sure the gun was loaded with lockdown paint because I care about you anyway."

He can't deny that. There's something broken in Carolina that he certainly can't fix, can just try to shore her up as best he can. "Why did you come after me? You'd have been safer staying with the rebels. They needed you and I'm not worth that."

There's the question now, isn't it? Stay with the rebels. Make sure the meeting works. At least he'd told Kimball that if he didn't come back in four hours to consider him captured or dead and beyond rescue. They know not to wait for him. "Because I've lost enough people to not want to lose more. I kinda get stupid over people I care about, David."

He squirms away when York uses that name. Too much of a reminder right now. Can't be David anymore. Never could be really. "You care about them too. Should have stuck with that. How did you not figure out that I'm a lot cause from that fucking video."

"Do you really want me to hate you?" He understands guilt but- if anything this is a sign that Wash is conflicted. If he was the selfish asshole he keeps saying he was, he'd take what York was offering without batting an eye. Play it up.

"Yes." Of course he doesn't. That was why he'd run off instead of explaining himself face to face. "At least I'd understand why you felt that."

"And people say I'm a shit liar." He snorts a laugh and settles back against the covers, offering Wash an arm. "You don't need to understand it."

He'd managed to fool York for the past couple of weeks hadn't he? He could pull that out. Cut him down. He glares at York for a moment before grudgingly taking the offered place at York's side, letting York wrap an arm around him. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Emotions tend to not. It's part of what makes us human." There are so many things he could do here but- he's tired. Wash is warm. Wash is comfortable. D's minding their surroundings. It's as safe as he's gonna get to bury his nose in Wash's hair, tangle himself up in him, and relax. "How long do I have you?"

"Fucking bad idea if you ask me," he mutters.

"If Control doesn't send new orders or want to speak to me again? I'm not on duty for a few hours. Not that there's a lot for me to do here." He'd been with the rebels. Carolina was the one who took care of stuff.

"Of the three of us-" Four counting Delta, which he isn't since D has no taste for such things. "I'm the one with a history of healthy relationships. So trust me." He brushes his lips against Wash's temple, slowly unwinding until he's loose and easy. "Mind tak'n a nap with me?"

He sleeps better with a second body present- preferably one that he trusts and cares about.

Besides.

Wash didn't get any sleep the night before.

He lets out a soft sigh, closing his eyes when York kisses him. It's nice and easy and he can almost pretend that they're back at the rebel base and everything is as honest as he'd been pretending. That everything is going to be alright. "Alright," he says. "I guess I can stay for a while."

"Just till you have to go." He'll take what scraps of comfort he can get. It also serves to remind Wash of what they'd had- to make him think about what he's doing. To make him reconsider his position.

Honestly? Carolina is gonna be the hard sell. He'll work on that.

After he dozes.

"Alright." He is exhausted. Didn't sleep last night. He never sleeps well anyway. He lies down slowly, stretching out on York's bed, facing the door. "You know that this is a bad idea, right? For both of us."

"I thought you had nothing to lose." All he's got left to lose are Delta and Wash. Carolina isn't someone he has- not yet.

Maybe not ever.

For now he stretches out behind Wash and tucks himself close, lips brushing the nape of his neck. Right over the implant scar.

"Can still be sure something is a bad idea," Wash replies, a lame answer really. He's lost, he knows it. He has York to lose now, and whatever parts of himself he hasn't already killed.

There's a flinch when York touches that scar, a stutter in his breathing. Wonders how Delta feels, knowing that Wash remembers him being created. But he doesn't stop him.

"All the fun ideas are bad." Casbah. The club. Dinner with Wash. Sex afterward. Repeated, sweaty, wonderful sex. If he weren't so damn tired and so sure that Wash needed rest as much as he did? There'd be a repeat.

For now it's his lips, chaste and dry against the crackling mass around the implant site.

D's strangely quiet. He never mentioned what he remembered of his first few moments of life aside from being certain he was alpha to being told it was his birthday and he was Delta.

"So speaks someone with a history of bad ideas," Wash says, amusement in his voice. Just about the first positive emotion he's displayed since yesterday.

It's easy to relax when York doesn't do anything more. There's no examining the port, no poking at it or wondering aloud if he'd survive being implanted with another AI. Just lips and warmth and comfort.

"Came out alright in the end." This isn't the end. It's- phase one. HE's not sure how long it'll take to get to the next step or what the next step even is but-

No. Rest now. Rest and smoothing down the stress and hurt that comes with doing his job for Wash. "...D says he's sorry. That his brother hurt you."

It's not supposed to be like that. He and Delta, North and Theta- they had the healthiest relationships.

"You're in a prison cell, fucking the enemy, and still pretty gone over the other enemy." It sounded less than alright.

There's a sharp intake of breath at that, and curling in on himself. "It's not Delta's fault. It's not- not even Epsilon's. He never had a chance. Everything he knew was pain and betrayal and then he woke up in the mind of someone he'd been told was dead and... I understand what it's like to not want to live anymore."

"I'm in a rather heavily monitored apartment, fucking a friend, trying to figure out how to reconnect with an estranged one." A beat. "We're just getting started, babe. We'll be alright."

Somehow.

The alternative isn't something he's willing to entertain. Even if Delta is. "I think...the thing that broke them- they'd all been told it was her and one of us. And whoever it was is who got them."

"I am alright." He doesn't sound convincing at all. He'd like for things to be alright though. He just doesn't see how they can be.

The sound he makes his something close to a sob, stifled against the mattress. What would that do to an AI? He supposes it makes sense. Make them want to do everything to protect their Freelancers. And he's sorry, so sorry, that Epsilon had remembered too much.

There's no saying that it'll be okay- what happened to Epsilon? Is burned into Wash's skin and into his memory. There's no undoing it. There's no moving past it, not when they're here. But York can and does tug the covers up over them. Tangle his legs with Wash's and catch his chin with his hand to lean in and press their lips together. Soft and brief and chaste. Nothing but comfort intended.

He's not crying. He's really not. He's just tired, aching, exhausted from the day. He wouldn't be doing this if he was in the right frame of mind. He kisses back gently. There's no expectation in it, no demand. It's nice. He settles down a little after that, drags one of York's arms around him.

Excellent work, York.

Not helping D.

Was this not the desired outcome?

Empathy and connection, yes, exhausted crying? No.

York takes the invitation as it's given and curls protectively around Wash. Here if nowhere else he has his back. "I got you."

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

Re: York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)

York gets Captured thread split (point of divergance)