goddamngrenades | LEGION INBOX

We agreed that this is enough. [ He's tired of making that gamble. ] I'm good. I don't need or want anything more than this. I got a job. I got Delta. I get to live, I get to have friends again instead of the odd dead drop where maybe it's something new and it's proof that North and South are alive or maybe it's old and I still have no idea if they're okay.

I got somewhere to live that's not a hole in the wall with an actual bed, a purpose, and superpowers. I get to sleep at night without needing a gun by the bed. It's enough.

[He'd known that being on the run had messed with York, and badly, but somehow he'd never expected to hear something like this. That York would get back to a basic human norm and then become...complacent.]

[Because York was never complacent - he was always in hot pursuit of something, whether it was a spot on the leaderboard or the sole packet of Oreos on board or Carolina herself, but he was always going for something-]

[Back then.]

[Now is different.]

[Back then sucked. Now, in some ways, still kind of does.]

You got complacent.

[It's a little quiet, but not at all accusatory.]

You got back to normal and you just...stopped.

...nothing about this is normal. [ The powers, the living after being shot- because he'd been shot. Fatal wounds that were just patched up like it was nothing and sent on his way with a goal to save the multiverse planted before him. That's where his ambition, what scraps of it he's had left, has gone. Do the job.

Do it well.

Don't fuck up.

Everything else is...icing. And there's so much icing that he's surprised he doesn't have cavities every morning he wakes up to light steaming through his widows, when a potential argument or awkward moment makes the world a comfortably uncomfortable shade of real. It's not perfect. He doesn't need perfect. ]

It's...surreal. Guys that did the shit I did don't get surreal. We don't get second chances. And here I am with mine. I'm content with my miracle.

If guys like us didn't get second chances, I wouldn't be alive.

[Might as well lay that one right out, because it's true - Wash is only here because of an act of mercy in the right time and place. That fact is engraved on his bones at this point, and he's not exactly shy about it.]

[He's also been where York has been, or at least in a similar place - expecting death, and instead given a place to recover. The thing is, once you recover, you can't just stop - if you do, what's the point of living?]

So, what? You get your basic human needs fulfilled and then you give up? You looked at something you both wanted and decided it would be too much because you already have a roof over your head and that's enough?

You're allowed to be grateful and still want more!

[ He laughs- and it's not so much bitter as it is damn tired. Wanting things, huh? Christ. ] Last thing I wanted was revenge and it got me killed. Thing before that? To do the right thing and we both know how well that turned out.

[ Gigantic fuck off failures, the both of them. No one and nothing was avenged- they didn't even save the Alpha, fucked Wash over in the Process and, as he thought for so damn long, killed Carolina. It's enough to make a guy wary of rolling the dice again.

He's good. This is- it's good. It's okay. He's alright with okay. ]

So I get settled and...I'm good. Historically ambition hasn't done either of us any favors, man. All I want right now is to be done talking about this, but- [ Wash wants to talk about it so he guesses they're gonna keep talking about it? And he's...okay with that, even if he'd rather not. ] We don't always get what we want.

Historically ambition hasn't- [He stops and splutters a bit, because fuck that.] Fuck off. I refuse to believe that things went badly every single time you went for something you wanted.

[He makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat.] You know what? Fine. Delta, what am I missing?

Allow me to preface this by noting the logic presented is Taylor's and Taylor's alone. I am as frustrated by this as everyone else. Doubly so for living with his subconscious pressing around me while I am attempting to work.

Love you too, buddy. [ Taylor sighs but otherwise remains silent, letting Delta do the heavy lifting here. ]

Go make yourself Coffee, Taylor.

[ There's rattling, shifting as York levers himself off of the sofa to do just that, leaving Delta and Wash alone on the line. ]

That said, the previous two instances of Taylor wanting something did end in catastrophic failure. Our mutual demise most recently- and before that the loss of what remained of his support network, leaving you behind, crashing the MOI, and leading to the assumed death of Agent Carolina. Trauma leaves a mark. These events were traumatic for all involved.

Ambition drove the leader-board. It drove the Director. It drove my brother, Sigma, to doing...what he did.

Furthermore in Taylor's experience, relationships with expiration dates do not end well. Add this to his assumption that the constant point of failure in all of his previous relationships is himself and his desire to avoid making similar mistakes he is hedging his bets, like an idiot, and refusing to lose by never playing in the first place.

I would rather not be privy to any of this but as I lack thumbs or remote access to my chassis with which to remove myself from Taylor's brain, I suffer.

Edited 2017-07-25 03:42 (UTC)

What would he do without you.

[It's muttered but still audible as Wash listens and processes. Sometimes it helps to have a back door to York's thought processes without having to go through the York filter first.]

Has he factored in that we're in a relatively stable situation and that we actually are the good guys this time?

Endure more grapefruit to the eye, I imagine. [ Dry commentary is dry. ]

It isn't a hypothetical expiration date, it is a known one. Locus will return to our world once the job here is complete. Taylor will not ask him to remain. That is an integral part of the equation. Even if that does not occur-

Sombra has a hold on Locus and when, not if, she chooses to leave? He may likely follow. Because the situation is stable and the Legion is firmly on the side of good, Taylor cannot do the same. Of course the idea of enjoying what he has while he has it has not occurred because again, he is an idiot.

That's an inevitability. [That is one audible smirk.]

The last time I talked to Locus, he was thinking about staying here. When did that change?

[He's quiet for a moment at that development. For as savvy as he can be, Locus is still a goddamn idiot sometimes.] Locus has a habit of falling in with brightly colored manipulators. When push comes to shove, I'll take care of Sombra.

[He likes Land Shark. He considers her to be a friend. But he also has priorities.]

Would he be more open to that idea coming from you or me?

We are of course ignoring the complicated emotions surrounding Sombra in this equation entirely because- to paraphrase- ain't nobody got time fo' dat.

[ He tries, does Delta, he truly does. ]

If you think I have not been throwing that idea at him from every potential angle every hour I have been plugged in, I am disappointed in you. He has shown no sign of changing course and at this point likely has no desire to listen to further suggestions on your part. His mind is, for the moment, made up.

Were it not for Emu's egg that required minding, I would not be in his habitat. I do not recall being this frustrated with him since my initial implantation.

And that's why I said I'd handle her. [How that encounter goes will depend entirely on Sombra.]

[That update gets a frustrated sigh.
Great.] It's frustrating because the pieces are all in place and the only thing stopping him is his refusal to pull his head out of his ass.

...is he really keeping that name?

Were it not for the content of his Legionnaire Legacy, this would go differently. The reminder of all his past failed relationships bothers him more than he shows.

[ Which is vexing for so many reasons. ]

Yes, he is. Or at the very least I will ensure he does. An implied dibs is still a dibs, according to the protocol.

Edited 2017-07-25 21:06 (UTC)

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I hope you learned a lesson about WANTING THINGS

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