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"Good to know," Wash replies. He can stash the apples and oranges then, and eat the rest over the next couple of days.
He nearly chokes on the banana when York says that. Out loud. He scowls at the hologram. "C'mon. Don't say stuff like that. In public."
He nearly chokes on the banana when York says that. Out loud. He scowls at the hologram. "C'mon. Don't say stuff like that. In public."
Okay, he's got an interesting point, but she finds herself kind of distracted by the way he cuts himself off. Is it possible to treat someone with and also without kid gloves at the same time?
"...I'm not going to burst into flame if you curse around me, you know."
"...I'm not going to burst into flame if you curse around me, you know."
"Woah- hey!" The hologram slides from over York's shoulder to stand on the table, head cocked to the side. "You were seriously considering the logistics of putting that whole thing in your mouth- I was just saying I don't think your gag reflex can manage."
"You are a small human type person." A beat, it'll make sense in a second. "You don't swear around small human type people. It's like a social rule or something?"
He's pretty sure it was a rule, North made it a Rule with a capital R which meant disappointed dad face when you didn't follow it and he made that rule for Theta so it kinda became a habit.
He's pretty sure it was a rule, North made it a Rule with a capital R which meant disappointed dad face when you didn't follow it and he made that rule for Theta so it kinda became a habit.
Maine is giving that rumbling noise that Wash knows is laughter and doesn't even have the grace to try to hide it. Wash huffs and stares down at the hologram again. "I was going to bite bits off!" he protests. His cheeks heat up. "You don't know anything about my gag reflex and-" he glares up at Maine. It just makes him laugh more.
"Human type person," she echoes. Unimpressed. Look at how unimpressed this small human type is. "Look, I mean, generally you don't swear around kids because they'll echo it and they're 'bad words'," yes with air quotes, "and then get in trouble at school, but I'm not a child! You're a shady ex-Freelancer who makes up new identities for people out of a garage with a cool motorcycle. It's not going to surprise me that you swear."
A flicker, a tickle, a little flare in the neural lace. "I suppose I could repress it but, uh, guy. That'd make it a threesome not a twosome and I don't know you that well yet."
That's a third date thing he's pretty sure.
That's a third date thing he's pretty sure.
"Your eye twitches when I call you 'kid'." He notices these things. He's observant. You know, sometimes. "I'm an under the table identity operator working out of one of many safe houses."
Not shady at all.
"Look I walked away with a particular set of skills that aren't terribly conductive to a happy civilian lifestyle. So." A beat. "Yeah but I'm gonna try to not anyway. Deal with it."
Not shady at all.
"Look I walked away with a particular set of skills that aren't terribly conductive to a happy civilian lifestyle. So." A beat. "Yeah but I'm gonna try to not anyway. Deal with it."
Wash groans and drops his head to the table, covering it with his arms. He is going to die. He is going to die right here on this table because he is going to burn up from mortification.
"Leave me here to die."
"Leave me here to die."
"Pretty sure that'd drop us down the leaderboard to, I dunno, under Florida." Who's scary in ways he can't articulate. "Come on, eat your banana. You got low blood sugar, that'll mess with you."
"Whatever." That is a totally mature way to reply to the situation. Very mature.
"The point is...the point is that we're doing this. Together. Like as a team. Instead of me running off on my own and maybe or maybe not getting shot. Isn't that going to impact your business?" Y'know, the one that isn't shady.
"The point is...the point is that we're doing this. Together. Like as a team. Instead of me running off on my own and maybe or maybe not getting shot. Isn't that going to impact your business?" Y'know, the one that isn't shady.
He winces at that. Florida creeps him out in a way he can't really describe. He's perfectly pleasant, cheerful, everything that should be reassuring. And yet...
He pushes himself up and reaches for the banana again. "Fine. Because you asked nicely."
He pushes himself up and reaches for the banana again. "Fine. Because you asked nicely."
"See it's not the end of the world. It's just fruit." Everything is fine, the banana is tasty, the kid is healthy.
"I can't believe I'm having a discussion about fruit with a highly advanced AI," Wash mutters as he finishes off the banana.
"Hey, sine of us can't taste." Which he misses- wants? He can't mix anything he's never had a mouth.
Weird.
"Look, go grab some protein, we'll be hitting the gym later."
Weird.
"Look, go grab some protein, we'll be hitting the gym later."
"Man, that sucks," Wash says, grimacing. He likes taste. He loves the candy he gets 479er to smuggle in when she goes on supply runs. Especially the ones sour enough to make his lips numb.
"We hit the gym every day," he says, but does as York suggests.
"We hit the gym every day," he says, but does as York suggests.
"Trash, but this time? You got me. Come on, a few reps, some range time, a spar or two with Connie and well be good." They are gonna show off.
"Fine," Wash says, rolling his eyes. Can the AI feel that? Probably. At least he'll probably feel the sentiment behind it. "Was planning to go down anyway."
"Don't do that, it's not cute." York mutters. "Then we have our exhibition for whatever the Director wants us to do."
"No maybe about it. You'd get shot." And he'd have to live with it. "I'm an independent contractor. I go where the work is, do the jobs I feel like doing. This? I feel like doing. This needs to be done. Just. Not by a kid on their own that'll get themselves killed before finishing things."
"Lies. I am super cute," Wash says, grinning at the sour tone of York's voice. Maine snorted into his coffee. "Yeah. He'll probably have something he expects me to fail."
"Well your face is symmetrical and you have the big eye thing going for you so, I guess?" He's an AI, he's got a rough understanding at best of what makes a person 'cute'.
"I... I will take that as a compliment." He has never really thought about the rules of what makes someone attractive. He's never really considered that he has big eyes either so...
"You should. Come on, Wash, protein. Peanut butter bars or something." They're gonna be swolemates, they gotta do this right.
He grumbles at that. Really, is York gonna be like his mother? But stands up and goes back to the food bar to grab some protein. They have eggs, or something that looks like eggs, and slices of meat, and he grabs a couple of protein bars for good measure.
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