goddamngrenades | RP Open Post

"What can I say? It's been awhile since I've been with anyone." Even his hand. No time. No place where he felt safe enough to be that vulnerable.

"Oh come on, I thought you were a girl in every port kind of guy," Wash teases, even if he knows it isn't true. He'd been gone for Carolina after all. "Me either. Like I said, nothing since Casbah."

"WHen ports were safe, sure." They haven't been for- well. Years. Right now he just tugs David under the spray and works up a lather, scrubbing at his shoulders and back.

There's a moment of tension when Taylor begins to rub at his shoulders. There always is whenever anyone gets close to his neck and the port there. Can't help it. Too many bad memories. But he soon relaxes into it, and heaves a pleased chuff of a sigh.

"Easy, easy. It's just me." He knows that feeling. That instinctual tension that locks up whenever someone's near the port, whenever someone's on his left. But it's just them, here. No one else. No threats. No risks. Just them.

"Yeah, sorry," Wash says, forcing himself to release some of that tension. He's safe right now. Taylor won't hurt him. Not now. Not yet. "Just still makes me jumpy. Got that thing prodded more than anyone should have to."

"At least it was removed surgically. Hav'n them ripped out is-"

Yeah. Not going there. "It's past."

"At least there's that." The one small mercy was that he hadn't had Epsilon ripped out of his skull by the creature that Maine had become.

"You ever think like... If someone offered you a way to forget that stuff, and to- to fix all the crazy that's in your head, that you'd take it?"

"...it wouldn't change anything." Everyone else would still be dead. He'd still be half blind. He'd still have a hole where Delta should be and an arm that ached whenever it rained. He'd still be taped together and skating by with a wink and a prayer.

It wouldn't fix him.

"I'd still be me. I'd just- forget why."

He slumped a little at that, but nodded. "Guess you're right. And man would it be weird to see how fucked up my body is and not remember why I'm scarred to hell." To just be left with the proof that something had happened. It would drive him nuts.

"If I could go back and change things- maybe I would. But if it's just changing for me? Fuck it." He kisses the side of Wash's neck and finishes scrubbing, massaging the base of his skull.

"There's a lot of things I'd change," Wash said, but then again, if he could, would he be here like this? Thinking about it made his head hurt. He smiles at the kiss and leans against the wall of the shower, visibly relaxing beneath York's ministrations.

There we go. Lather and massage done he tugs Wash into the spray to rinse off, kissing his jaw, his cheek, his lips before stretching and pulling away to scrub at his own sweaty skin. "No life ammo in the goddamn training hall, that's thing one."

He feels warm and lazy and comfortable and returns the kisses with a few of his own. He takes a moment to just look at York when he turns to shower, then slides his hands down the other man's back before pressing up against him. It's just nice to touch him right now. "Good place to start. Would have dragged Maine to the infirmary to get Sigma pulled. I'm not sure how I'd have dragged him. Maybe grappling hooks."

"By the dick. Most people follow you if you have them by the dick." Case in point- but he leans back into Wash anyway, tips his head back until it's on his shoulder. Sighs at the support, at the contact.

Wash takes a moment to think about that, eyes widening. "That would have... I mean Maine was uh-" Big. Really big. They'd shared enough space in the locker room for Wash to know that. Wash sighs softly, wraps his arms around York and presses his face against York's neck.

York can't help cracking up at the sheer trepidation in Wash's eyes. "Seen bigger. Did not ride that particular pony, though, I like being able to SIT afterward."

"Asshole," Wash mutters against York's neck, squeezing him more tightly when he laughs. "It would at least have been an experience. Might have been good to try it once."

"I have had someone as big as Maine though. That- that was somth'n." He reaches back to comb his fingers through David's wet hair, smiling. "Felt it for weeks."

"Yeah?" Wash asks, grinning. His mouth found York's pulse point and he started to suck a mark against it. "I bet you did. Worth it?"

Oooh, that's nice. He gives his hips a little roll back against Wash and, third time's the charm maybe? "Mhmmm. Spent a solid hour work'n me open. If you thought I was a mess tonight-"

Wash gives a soft groan and scrapes his teeth warningly against York's neck. "You want me to be conscious tomorrow or what?"

He doesn't try to move away though. "Wow... I can't even feel inadequate. That is just impressive."

"It was amazing. I was incoherent for awhile after- I kinda like this more. Means I can do it more often." As often as he wants instead of once in a lifetime.

"Well, we get through this, we can do it as often as you want," Wash says, flicking his tongue out against the sore spot he's sucked. "Beach house. Get food ordered in. We don't even have to go outside."

"God, that'll be the best reward ever." Something they've both earned, something to look forward to even as he grinds his hips back.

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