goddamngrenades | Voicemail 2.0

All right. I'll see you soon.

[Carolina is indeed at the house before York is, let in by Malcolm (who then excuses himself - up to his room, or out, she's not quite sure), and left lingering to her own devices in the kitchen. Harry, at least, has seen fit to pop in out of nowhere to harass her with his charming ways while she waits.

She's not sure how this will go. She's not expecting forgiveness, hoping he'll at least listen to an apology even if he doesn't accept it. But there'll be only one way to find out.]

[ It's the usual series of steps when he gets home. Lock up bike, check trackers around house, walk inside, stow helmet and coat, clip badge and pistol to their holders in the wall, walk to the kitchen, grab coffee, cuddle with Malcolm.

Or.

That's the usual set of steps up till he gets to the kitchen and there's Carolina. Why he thought she wouldn't come, he can't say, but she's here and he manages a thin, if tired, smile on his way to the coffee pot. ]

Harry begging for treats again?

[ Don't worry, York. She's just an extra, inconvenient step. She has no intention of keeping you from your cuddles.

She notes the thin smile, even as her gaze flicks over him, her own posture slowly relaxing to see him well. Physically, anyway - Malcolm had mentioned the injuries had been worse than they appeared, so the fact he's up and moving and working..

There's a light swipe of a paw against her stilled hand, drawing her out of distraction, and back to scritching under his jaw. ]

Attention, anyway. Gave me something to do while I waited.

[ There's at least a brief lull in words once she's answered. She's never been particularly good at small talk. And, in all honesty, that isn't why she's here. Carolina takes a breath, holds, then releases it as she straightens, dropping her hand away from the cast.

She's not used to this. But she managed to do this with Malcolm. She can do this for York too. Right..? ]

I wanted.... I wanted to apologise. For last week.

Hey, Harry. Soft paws. [ He can swipe as long as no claw's involved but- Carolina's fine, his cat's not an ass, all's well. Coffee. He needs some coffee. The ritual of filling the reservoir and setting the machine buys him a little time. Why she was here- that was kind of obvious. That she seems so damn uncomfortable doing it sort of cements his earlier notions from the week before.

Hell.

Even when the apology comes he's got half a mind to ask what, in particular, she's apologizing for but- he doesn't want to think about it. Or talk about it. It happened, they've all moved on. No need to dwell.

York turns to lean his hip against the counter, arms lightly crossed, brows lifted. ]

Okay.

No, it's not okay.

[it's why she's apologising, after all. Just because it isn't easy for her, doesn't mean Carolina doesn't recognise when she screws up. That she's willing to admit when she's wrong is a big deal for her, at least. She remains in her seat, for the moment, but eyes brighten. She's not going to let herself look away.]

I'm still mad at you. [uh] ..But I understand why you did what you did. Better than I did then. And how I reacted.. You were right. Something in that bite made things, worse somehow. I don't think I've been that paranoid in... since.. [since the years she spent hunting the director, actually. She stops, breaks eye contact a moment as she centers herself, then looks back at him.]

But none of that excuses my behaviour. Especially after Malcolm came to get you. That wasn't right. You deserved better than that from me. [especially from someone you called your best friend]

[ Why won't people let him say shit is okay? They've all been through worse, it was a misunderstanding that has since been clarified and rectified on several levels- it won't happen again. But Clair clearly needs to say a thing and it'd be dickish to not at least listen. Also kind of impossible to not listen but-

He's not looking at that too hard.

Harry wanders over to butt his head against York's shoulder from the countertop and in turn York scratches his ears idly. The mad part gets an eyeroll. Yeah, he was there, he kind of figures that, he fucked up. The rest is...

Surprising. This he didn't expect- hell he didn't want it. But it's here and he- makes an effort to choose his words carefully. ]

I thought we were pretty clear on what I deserve from you which- [ Not your PET rings in his ears for a moment, sharp and cold. He shakes it off. Pastes on a smile. ] is nothing. You don't owe me anything. Never have.

Yes I do.

[it's now that she rises from her seat. Pads slowly towards him. Lets Harry remain between them, letting his section of the counter maintain an appropriate distance.]

You're my friend. You've always been my friend, regardless of whatever past mistakes I've made. And the least that I owe you is the same kindness that you've shown me. Even if I'm not...exactly the best at it, I should have tried.

I owe you my trust. Even though you trusted in me, and I let you down. [her voice softens, and she swallows.] And I owe you honesty. ..I hurt you, Taylor. Badly. I was angry, but more than that, I was...afraid.

I'm sorry.

Edited 2015-09-23 19:25 (UTC)

Not really?

[ He gets what he gets and he's glad to have that much. Anything else is- well. His fault more often than not. Why she's pushing this he can't say but he'll stand here, stand his ground- not gonna fall back in his own house, seriously- and listen. He can do that. Will do that.

Friends. They're friends. Friends argue. Friends snap. Friends occasionally break each other's shit or each other. It's okay.

It's fine. ]

How'd you let me down? You were forced, by me being an idiot, to live through something you're kind of terrified of and needed space afterward. And come on. It was my ribs. I'm fine. Nothing to be sorry for.

...Malcolm already told me it was much more serious than just ribs. [green eyes fix him, cold a moment. don't try and downplay this. For once.] I do have to be sorry for it. You should have been safe around me and you weren't. I should have recognised you, and I didn't. And when you were leaving, I shouldn't have turned my back on you when you reached out to me. [not when you needed me.]

[Fine, that poisonous little word, a nothing word. This isn't fine. But he's not going to back down on this, is he?] ..Friends say sorry when they've been wrong, Taylor. [Something in her seems to deflate, to diminish, before she manages to offer him a weak smile] But on that same turn, that doesn't mean an apology has to be accepted.

Thanks anyway, for listening. [she backs up a bit, away from the counter, away from him and his cat, one half step followed by a second, before she turns away] Say good night to Malcolm for me, would you?

Bruising, internal bleeding. You know. Torso trauma roulette. [ He shrugs. ] Half an hour in the clinic and a night's sleep and I was good.

[ The rest, though. That-

That he hadn't expected an apology for. That he hadn't thought he needed an apology for. She needed space. He can respect that since he didn't offer it when he really should've. ]

You weren't. You weren't in your right mind and I pushed into your space When you asked me to not. I- [ What? No that's not- he steps after her, reaching out again and he shouldn't he's done with this but he can't let her think he doesn't- ] Carolina I'm accepting your apology. You're forgiven.

[ Internal bleeding may have been a sign of something far worse. They could be blase about it when they were younger, but not now, not when they're so much older, and wearier and wiser.

Or not so wise.

She stops. She's not that far from him, close enough for him to touch, to grab if he wants, and she's trying to retreat, he's trying to reach out--

--and Carolina stops, though she doesn't turn to him, not yet, draws a breath as she listens. And it is her turn now, to listen. (She's not sure she believes him, much as she wants to, just as she's sure she doesn't necessarily deserve the forgiveness she wants from him. As Malcolm himself pointed out, York would always forgive her.) ]

[tiredly] Please don't excuse my behaviour, York. [she hesitates, then raises her own hand to catch his] You may have been an idiot, but I was a bitch. At least let me own that, okay.

Okay. [ He squeezes her hand and- this is what he wanted to do less of. But he can't not reach out a little. A lot. Just to slow her and- maybe to get her to look at him again. She needs to own some of what was said and-

Well some of it does bear discussing.

Maybe.

Maybe it's his own neuroses. Anxieties. Fears. ]

Some of what you said was uncalled for I guess. [ If they're gonna talk about shit. ] I don't- expect you to answer every time I check in, you know? And if you think I'm calling too much just say something. I'm a grown ass man. I can take it.

Edited 2015-09-23 21:38 (UTC)

[ She doesn't return the squeeze. But she's not letting go, either. She should. She knows she should. But this feels like an anchor to their conversation, that letting go would simply cause them to drift out of reach.

Malcolm had held her hand when they talked. This is no different. Or so she tries to tell herself.

This may not be an easy conversation. But, it will be honest. or as honest as Carolina and York can manage, anyway. ]

..I know. You wouldn't have been offended if I'd asked you to dial it back a bit. I should have said something sooner. [it might have spared both of them some grief, for one]

[ So he had needed to dial it back. Okay, note taken. He'll not in the future. She's a grown ass woman, she doesn't need him poking at her all the time. Right.

Okay they got that cleared up. Anything else that bears discussion?

No?

Okay good talk. ]

Anything else? Since we're talking.

[ Is there something else? There's probably something else, right. ]

I won't hate you for being honest with me. For calling me on bad moods. ..I might not like it, but sometimes I need to be called on these things. [She's not perfect, try though she has in the past to be]

[there's a tilt of her head a moment, brow knitting, before she looks up at him]

I meant it, that you were getting slow. You're a police officer now. Can't afford to let your reflexes fail you. If you need help sharpening them, I'm willing to help you bring them back up to snuff. [it would indeed be the very least she could do for him]

Clair, compared to you everyone is slow. Also not everyone I hunt down is a hopped up fully trained space marine, I kind of became a cop to worry about that shit less. Divorce myself from it. DeWitt and I are on white collar crime as of late and the worst we get out of that is bad perfume and threats of a lawsuit.

[ He's not all that popular in District one right now. He doesn't care.

Sparring with her-

That.

Would end badly for so many reasons. ]

I was walking somewhere I thought was safe. I got caught offguard.

And that's exactly why you should brush up on your CQC.

You don't know when someone might rush you. Or Dewitt. [a frown, then:] Bring her with you. I could help you both. And the more familiar you are with how the other moves, the better prepared you'll be if someone is foolish enough to attempt to jump two cops.

[ Is he afraid of her, now? Because of what she did? (It honestly doesn't occur to her, not right now, that there are other reasons that sparring with her would be bad for York..) ]

It's an open offer...Promise me you'll at least keep it in mind?

Edited 2015-09-23 23:16 (UTC)

As soon as you're good with having people around, I'll bring her over. Me- I'll brush up in the bunker.

[ Space. Privacy. NOT in close proximity to a sweaty gorgeous woman he shouldn't be having emotions about he has BEEN on this ride it did not end well.

It ended badly.

Not happening again. ]

I'll think about it. But- There are old, bad habits I'd rather not fall back into, you know?

Training alone leaves you far more open to lapsing into them than under a trainer.

[ She has a point. He knows she does.

She ignores any inklings of hurt at his refusal, if that's what he wants, she'll respect it. It isn't about her, it's about what's good for him. ]

Fine. Not at my place, it's not really suitable for proper training. The gym I taught basics to Delta at would work, though. I'll check and see what times and days they have openings.

Maybe you can hit up Kirk, or ask Malcolm if he'll spar with you? He keeps in shape for his modeling role. [and at least you won't have issues being in close proximity to your sweaty handsome boyfriend, right?]

Didn't day I'd be training alone. [ Maine was always willing to punch him in the face. Not that he'll bring that up.

Is it weird that they're still holding hands? It's weird. It's probably weirder that he doesn't want to let go-

Well no, that's about the one normal bit in all this. ]

Mal has tricks to teach me. He ever show you that Klingon grapple? It's tricky as hell.

..Just not training with me.

[ Evenly said. It's fair. She understands and there's no sign of offense taken.

She gives him a crooked smile, considers withdrawing her hand from the warm clasp of his. She doesn't. (She should. Why hasn't he let go yet? If she does, he will..) ]

No, I'll have to ask him about it. I'm sure there's a great many tricks we could share, given our respective experiences. [she just has to hold back, so that he doesn't, y'know. End up too bruised.]

I can't keep up with you. [ She's speed and agility. He's never really worked that way, not for lack of trying. ] We'd both end up frustrated, and that- I don't want that.

[ They have enough reasons to be frustrated in this place and he'd really rather they don't become a point of stress for one another.

Anymore than they already are. ]

Please try not to break my boyfriend. I kind of like him in one piece..

[ She hears excuses, thinks she can hear what he isn't saying, but while her expression is, briefly, one of disbelief, she apparently isn't going to argue the point further. ]

It still stands, if you change your mind later.

[ Big if, she knows. ]

I'm not going to break Malcolm. [there's a hint of peevishness to her reply, before she crooks an eyebrow up at him] Maybe rough him over a little, leave a few hidden bruises you can kiss better for him later.

[Amongst other things, no doubt.

She looks down, then, at their joined hands, before slowly but deliberately pulling hers away. It's time, it feels like the right time. Lets end it on a good note, shall we? ]

Gimme time to catch up and I probably will.

[ He's shit at keeping to resolutions, no matter how sane this one might be. Keeping away is- well he's trying. That's about all he can do, right? Right.

Their hands drift apart and he takes a few steps back, snagging his mug of coffee before Harry can bunt it into the sink for attention. Asshole cat. ]

Just remember to tap out if he calls 'red' mm?

[ She won't hold you to that. But her smile relaxes, widens a fraction, enough to know they're on a more even keel again. For now. She'll work on it. ]

Don't be ridiculous.

It's "Blue".

Make sure to go up and check in with him. You know he worries.

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