Get back on the horse, D said. It'll be good for you D said. Well technically it was better than diving into the bottom of a bottle and staying there though the temptation still lingered. One day. He let himself have one day a month to do that- it used to be one day a week. Baby steps. If they live long enough it might be once a year. But for now, once a month.

At least he had the sense to not have that one day a month right before he's supposed to hit the mat again. He's done it before in private, with Drew or Connie or David but it's not the same when it's out in public like this. Where the recruits are watching, are whispering as he shrugs out of his hoodie, scarring all along his left eye and side marking him as a survivor.

And as a failure- but they think he can't hear that.

"So. What forms?" This guy's not new- he's just been stationed elsewhere. This place is new- new faces, new procedures, new jeagers. New memories. Nothing to remind him of her. Of falling.